A Year in Reflection
Hi there! How are you? It’s so nice to see you here!
WHAT’S HAPPENING THIS QUARTER:
We’re diving into the full holiday season starting out Quarter 4 (October - December 2025.). The holiday season can be an exciting time for us but it can also be a time of transition, lack of predictability & being in situations that are tricky for our learners to navigate. Let’s dive into how we can support them through this season.
Oct - A Year in Reflection
October is all about preparing for the upcoming holiday season starting this month and into November while looking back at what worked (and didn’t work) for your learner and family during the previous holiday season.
Reflecting on What Worked This Year
The early moments of October are a nice time to pause before the holiday chaos kicks in because soon, we’re in holiday excitement overdrive.
So I ask you, what worked this year?
And moreover, what did NOT work this year?
When you’re looking back, it can be one moment that made your learner and/or your family proud, big or small. Maybe it was a big behavior and emotion that came up and a newer strategy was used and helped.
Let me be clear, reflection isn’t about reliving mistakes, it’s about noticing what worked and using that to guide what you will do again (or do differently) in the future.
This month, I have a FREEBIE to help look back on and honor those moments you navigated with your learner and family.
Reflection & Holiday Prep Check-In
If you’re interested, last month I also created 2 FREEBIES for looking at both the learning wins and roadblocks.
New Learning Wins to Celebrate
Be sure to check these out!
Regulating through Holiday Excitement
Here’s an honest question: “What part of the holidays causes your learner the most stress?”
Whether it’s social expectations (e.g. navigating large crowds, engaging with novel or familiar people, etc.), changes in routine or the overall excitement of those around them, the holidays bring a layer of fun and sometimes an even greater lack of predictability.
Coffee Break Coaching Moment: Previewing the Event
When you’re preparing to navigate a holiday event, try introducing and previewing the event with key points such as:
What you’ll see
Who will be there
Where the location is
When/how you will leave
Where to go if you need to take some space
Here’s a few ways you can preview:
A conversation
A picture walk using an album on your phone or pictures that go along with the above points
Individual visuals
When the event is over, carve out some time to re-regulate and decompress. This could look like:
Lights off and quiet music in their favorite pajamas
A favorite fidget or blanket on the couch or cozy area
Time alone or with someone your learner has a connection with
It can be a lot as a parent to watch your learner experience dysregulation during the holidays. Be sure to check in with yourself too so that you can be regulated and support them along the way as well.
Remember, this isn’t about fixing. It’s about empowering your learner with tools and strategies while being present to supporting them through regulation. Doing this creates the connection with you that they’re needing.
Preparing For Upcoming Holiday Change
True talk for a second.
As a parent, the minute October hits my head is already spinning with holiday preparations, so you can probably imagine your learner’s mind is reeling over the holidays in their own ways too.
Maybe it’s just me, but the holiday season tends to feel like a lively tennis match? You’re watching a tennis ball bounce back and forth, while simultaneously trying to remember who served the point.
It’s like one holiday after another happens between October and December and it can be hard to keep up.
So what can we do?
Coffee Break Coaching Moment: Holiday Check-In (Before & After)
Before a holiday event (say the morning of, the night before or even earlier depending on your learner), take 2 minutes to check-in with your learner. Ask questions like:
How does your body feel (think emotions, can even be how they physically feel too)?
What tools and strategies do you want to bring?
What might feel challenging or easy today?
Following the holiday event, check-in once more (it can be at night before bedtime after the holiday event, the following day, etc. depending on when the event was)
What felt fun or challenging today?
What helped you (or didn’t help you)?
How does your body feel now?
You can pair your check-ins with visuals too. Pairing your check-in with a thermometer visual is also a nice, concrete way for your learner to see how they’re feeling and identify what could support them.
Here is a FREEBIE for a thermometer visual for this type of check-in.
Why do a check-in?
Checking in builds both your parental awareness and your learners self awareness before and after the event. It’s a great barometer for gauging how to support your learner accordingly while also helping them build some awareness without judgement.
Checking in also builds connection with your learner. During a time that can begin to feel so unpredictable, it can really help your learner feel both seen and heard.
Planning For The Holiday Season
Let me say this first and foremost:
The traditions you adapt, modify or skip altogether still hold value.
When you’re planning for your upcoming holiday season, remember this is a time of year for connection, not comparison. Create joy instead of stealing it from yourself.
Coffee Break Coaching Moment: Reflection on Last Years Holidays & Using It To Adjust For This Year
Reflecting again (as this month is about) has us looking into last years holiday season too and talking with loved ones about “which part of the holiday’s season tends to feels hardest for us.”
Is it family expectations?
Travel?
Sensory overload?
Gift overwhelm?
Changes in food & meals?
Talking about all of these can help your family see what areas are the trickiest to navigate and how you can modify for this upcoming season.
Once you’ve identified what tends to be most challenging part(s) start brainstorming:
Empowering phrases your leaner can use to advocate for themselves during challenging moments.
Developing flexible plans for gifts and mealtime
Backup scripts and permissions to pivot as a family.
While some aspects require flexibility, we can create predictability in new routines by:
Creating an anchor routine with ONE thing that stays the same, daily, when holiday events are on the horizon.
Think of the anchor routine as not only grounding but also a reliable, predictable part of the day. It can happen at the same time daily (if that’s possible) or at different times of the day too. Predictable, yet flexible.
As you look ahead to November and beyond use this time to create a plan with a shared intention or mini goal with your learner & family. Talk to them about what is changing, what parts went well and what parts were challenging.
One final note: Endings deserve as much support as beginnings. Making the ending of a holiday event as predictable as the start of the holiday event further supports that predictable flexibility as holidays change from one to the next.
Joy is in the connection, the regulation, the permission to do it your way.
You are allowed to re-write the holiday rules.
If you’re wondering what to do and want to collaborate on sustainable strategies to support your learner at home and beyond, let’s chat over a coffee break together and build something just right for your learner, together!
Make sure you’re following along on Instagram @coffeemugsandclipboards as we bring this quarter’s content all about transitions to life!
I hope your day goes as smoothly as you wish and as always,
I’m so glad you stopped by!
