Hi there! How are you? It’s so nice to see you here!

WHAT’S HAPPENING THIS QUARTER:

Our topic dives into the magic of summer and building in predictable flexibility while keeping your vacations, visits to new locations, and even the starting the new school year in mind. If you’re wondering how to create predictable flexibility while honoring what supports your learner best this summer - this is for you!

**Sept - Roadblocks & New Learning**

New school years offer its fair share of challenges and “road blocks”.
New teachers, new routines, new learning and more. It can be a lot for our learners to adjust to. This month we’ll discuss ways to support your learner when these changes arise.

How to Spot New Learning Challenges Early
(And What to Do About Them)

The school year is always full of a lot of anticipation and preparation.

It’s a mixture of emotions for everyone, families & teachers included.

But when that newness wears off and the expectations sink in, sometimes the sheer weight of all of the new learning that’s happening (or is going to happen) can be hard for our learners to carry.

Learning “roadblocks” may look different at home vs. at school.

Sometimes our learners will “mask” any challenges they’re having at school with behavior (passive or active - think getting really quiet or talking out more than usual.)

Then at home, maybe you notice the same thing, they’re getting really quiet or showing more refusal.

It’s true, you aren’t able to see your learner during the day, but when you notice a change in their affect, meaning they may appear different from how they typically are at home when greet your learner at the end of the day, when you go through their backpack with them, or in ask about their day you notice a shift in how they’re interacting with you - this is your sign.

A roadblock is in your learner’s way.

As a parent, you know your learner. From that twinkle in their eye to the way their smile changes to show pure happiness or mischief, you know them. Trust that feeling.

If your learner can articulate their feelings and share what is up, thats huge! If you get the “nothing” statement from your learner and notice a change in their tone of voice, don’t dismiss it. We can gain a lot more from our learners when we say less and observe more.

If your learner is nonverbal and can’t communicate about their day, you can look at their body language when they return from school (e.g. are they dysregulated verbally or physically such as moving more, engaging in more vocal stereotypy, etc.)

To work on those communication skills to help your learner, in collaboration with your learner’s school team, begin to find appropriate ways of sharing about their day in small, meaningful ways. This can be done in a brief home/school checklist. Your learner checks it off at school and at home to share about their night/morning at home and vice versa their day at school.

As a former special educator in the classroom and a consulting behavior analyst in the schools, keeping communication with your school team open and honest (not constant or demeaning) moves mountains. Work together.

Your learner deserves that.

They are adjusting and adjustment to something new is uncomfortable, stretching and challenging our learners beyond what they could already do before. While some “discomfort” is normal, it’s important to also remember that it shouldn’t last for long and it shouldn’t change who your learner is.

When the Honeymoon Period Ends:
Understanding the First Behavioral Hurdles of the School Year

So now you’re here. The “honeymoon” is over. The “newness” has worn off and your learner realizes the jig is up - they’re here all year and it isn’t “fun” anymore.

You’ve moved past the discomfort of change and adjustment to the new but you’re noticing something isn’t quite right. You’re seeing your learner start to behave in different ways from before. What could this look like?

Dysregulation (think increased body movement & patterns, vocalizations, etc.)
Shutting down
Physical Aggression
Vocal Stimulation (repeating sounds, phrases, increased or decreased tone and/or volume)

It’s like watching in slow motion when these behavioral changes happen.

So what do you do?

Get the facts, first.

It can be SO EASY to want to scream from the rooftops “HELP” or start pointing fingers but without the facts of what is actually happening, it’s hard for your school team to help you out (unless they too are seeing the same thing.)

As a behavior analyst in public schools and even when I was working as a special educator, I would share a simple Google Sheet with my families.

I’d tell them these things:

Print out the QR code and put it in a central location.
After a behavior happens, take out your phone and point your phone’s camera at the QR code.
Open the Google Form
B egin checking the bubbles that apply to the situation you learner just encountered
Hit submit

Why would I do this?

Well, one things for sure, I appreciate seeing facts (without the emotions) so I can narrow down what could be happening. Please don’t mistake this for “I don’t care how you feel” but rather see it as I want to know objectively first the setting around the event before I also hear the emotional side as well and how both are impacting your family.

Then, get the feelings.

Families' voices deserve to be heard, especially when you’re navigating your learner at home. Yes, I’m a behavior analyst, but I’m also human. I care about the event as a whole.

Think of it like this - a behavioral event is like a rock thrown into a pond, the ripple is felt by everyone. Having the various perspectives of the event on top of the facts of the event helps someone like me gain a fuller picture of what is happening with your learner at certain times, as well as the impact it has in the home.

While it is often beyond the jurisdiction of the school to help families at home, sometimes they can offer suggestions and create a copy of different supports they’re using at school that may also be helpful to use at home.

Other times though, they can’t and that’s where I come in. I’ve been on the other side of the coin and this is why I created this space where I can work with you to craft collaborative and sustainable strategies for you and your learner to use at home and beyond.

Homework Battles and After-School Meltdowns:

What’s Really Going On?

School is a long day, its often longer than an average working day if we consider after school activities, outside related services, and homework. Our learners are SPENT.

Think of it like this - all day long our learners are carrying a tower of blocks. Every new demand, expectation or interaction can serve as another block added to their tower. When our learners get tired and overstimulated, unable to continue carrying their block tower, the tower falls and that’s when we see behaviors happen.

It happens to us as adults in our day-to-day life. Regardless of our professions, we all get to the point of “I’M OVER THIS!”

So, what do we do?

Create a decompression routine

I don’t know about you, but when I have more work to do after my work day the LAST thing I want to do is come home and dive right back in. No thank you.

Your learner actually feels the same way.

Instead of diving head first back into homework and school expectations, set up a routine that helps your learner to decompress for the day and reset before starting their homework task.

Brainstorm what your learner needs when they get home (time to run around outside, time to talk, a snack, movement, etc.)
Set up a routine (think 2-3 steps) that are easy to remember with predictable flexibility to allow your learner space to transition home and into a different place to learn.
Present the routine in a the mode your learner responds best:

Verbally state the routine
Write the routine in words
Use a visual schedule: The afterschool routines freebie shared on the website to help your learner. I even walked through how to set this up on Instagram recently, too!

Reframe homework as practice vs. perfection

This is a BIG one. Homework has gotten such a bad reputation over the years especially since it is graded, reviewed as a whole group, collected, shared aloud, etc. that it can cause our learners a lot of hesitation and worry when it comes to completing an assignment. Even moreso, it can be complicated especially if its new material or it was something they just don’t understand, yet.

Create a mantra with your learner such as:

“Practice not perfection; every effort counts”
“I show up, I try, I grow; that is enough”
"I grow by doing, not by getting it right every time."
“This is a safe space to learn, not perform.”
"Progress is quiet, slow, and still brave.”
"Every try is a triumph."

Before beginning the homework routine (however you and your family have this set up, say the mantra together. Have it in a spot where your family can easily see it to keep in a place for everyone at all times.

Keep open communication

Talk with your learner and their school team. If you’re trying all different ways to approach homework and your learner is still showing signs of frustration and task avoidance, it could also be the work is too challenging.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, work with your school team. Keep communication positive and collaborative (not constant and demeaning) and you’ll see how the teamwork really helps your learner benefit the most.

Your Learner Isn’t “Too Old” for Visual Supports:

Using Tools That Still Work in Middle School & Beyond

Do you use a calendar? Do you have checklists for tasks you need to do on a post it note, on a piece of paper, etc? Does your phone send you reminders from your calendar or about tasks that need to be done?

Guess what - you’re using visual supports.

Anything that is written and you use your eyes to see it is a visual support.

Visual supports have this connotation that they are images we use for nonverbal learners to help them communicate, see their schedule, etc.

When in reality visual supports are tools that start out as a picture and as our learners cognitive skills develop they eventually change from pictures to symbols and then to words.

No one is too old for a visual support. The type of visual support just needs to be adjusted to meet your learner’s current developmental needs.

By using a planner, a calendar, a checklist, you’re teaching your learner independent life long skills that support them from their current stage and long into adulthood. You’re setting them up for long term success and that is incredible.

So use the calendar, use the planner, teach them to make a list of their top 3 tasks when they get home from school or when they’re completing their assignments at night to prioritize the most to least important. Show them how to break down larger tasks and come up with a step-by-step plan for a bigger assignment.

All visual supports you can never be “too old” for.

Progress, Not Perfection:

Redefining “Success” for Neurodivergent Learners

Success is NOT a one size fits all approach. Success and how you achieve it is different for every human being on this earth.

The comparison game is getting old. Our brains are not all the same so how can we all learn in the same ways too?

It’s time for us to look at just how our learner grows and understands new tasks and material.

It’s time for us to see how long it takes them to master a new skill compared to themselves (not to their classmate, their nextdoor neighbor, or your friends’ learner)

It’s time to celebrate those small steps that result in larger progress instead of just focusing on celebrating every big win along the way.

Slow progress doesn’t mean no progress.

Slow progress means meaningful understanding and retention of the new skill over time as they build independence with that skill.

We grew up in a world where everyone needed to know everything quickly and just like the person they sat next to.

Today, we live in a world where acceptance for different learning is celebrated and my goodness, that is a beautiful thing!

Celebrate the little steps along the way and celebrate even more with the big wins. The more you celebrate the more joy you’ll see in your learner’s journey.

If you’re wondering what to do and want to collaborate on sustainable strategies to support your learner at home and beyond, let’s chat over a coffee break together and build something just right for your learner, together!

Make sure you’re following along on Instagram @coffeemugsandclipboards as we bring this quarter’s content all about transitions to life!

I hope your day goes as smoothly as you wish and as always,

I’m so glad you stopped by!

Roadblocks & New Learning