Planning For The Holidays
Hi there! How are you? It’s so nice to see you here!
WHAT’S HAPPENING THIS QUARTER:
We’re diving into the full holiday season starting out Quarter 4 (October - December 2025.). The holiday season can be an exciting time for us but it can also be a time of transition, lack of predictability & being in situations that are tricky for our learners to navigate. Let’s dive into how we can support them through this season.
Nov - Planning For The Holidays
For November, we’re kicking off the holiday planning and preparation for this month and into December as we support our learners navigating routine changes & self regulation, handling holiday travel & social gatherings as well as navigating family dynamics & expectations.
Managing Family Dynamics & Expectations
Holidays have to be perfect to be meaningful but meaning, during the holidays, comes from connection and safety, not perfection.
‘Tis the time of year when families come together to celebrate traditions new and old. Sometimes, though, when larger groups of people come together whether you see them frequently or infrequently it can cause our learners’ to become dysregulated. And when that happens, behaviors can occur for a variety of reasons.
So what can we do?
Coffee Break Coaching Moment: Breaks, Activities & Connection
Practice Social Situations Through Play
Social stories, visuals and learning ways to express needs with our words instead of our bodies is important to functional communication.
What’s the best way to connect with our learners and teach skills? Through play.
So, let’s tap into our learner’s love of play and use it as a time to “teach” and “practice” challenging skills they would need in these lower stake opportunities.
What can we practice for?
Family visits
Greeting others
Entering and exiting a different environment
What will happen during the holiday event (e.g. mealtime, foods, traditions, etc.)
What are ways to practice? While this depends on your learner, you can:
Engaging in pretend play such as setting up a dinner with play food. Invite dolls, favorite stuffed animals, etc.
Role play different moments such as greetings/exiting at the door, sitting at the table to eat, etc.
Give different examples of how they can say hello or goodbye (i.e. wave, handshake, or hug.)
Provide situations that mirror what would happen either with sounds, proximity to others as well as uncomfortable situations (such as the big hug from the sweet great aunt that your learner doesn’t enjoy)
What happens if you role play and practice but then you’re learner can’t recall and use them in the moment?
This is where the real teaching comes in and you, as the parent, support your learner as they navigate the situation. This can be using prompting to guide them, modeling other ways they can navigate it (through practiced statements, gestures, etc.)
Self Advocacy Strategies
Providing your learner with clear statements they can use to navigate social dynamics and situations that feel uneasy promotes safety in their boundaries and the grace to feel more in control.
BONUS - Review with your family what you’re working on as a family as well as the phrases you’re working on with them so they, too, can feel on the same page for your family. What a beautiful collaboration!
What are some phrases you can use? (Including but not limited to:)
I need help.
This makes me feel uncomfortable
No, thank you.
I’m not ready, yet.
Can I give you a _____ (wave, high five) instead?
I’m all done.
I’m ready to go, now.
I need a break.
I need some space.
Please, give me space.
Breaks & Activities
Remember, this holiday season isn’t about perfection and doing it all. Rather, think of it as a way to honor the needs of your family and create connection by engaging in activities your learner can navigate well.
How can this look?
Preparing break times ahead of time
Think after greetings, before or after the meal, in between activities
Selecting activities to participate in
While this is tricky to navigate (and to veer away from being apart of the whole event) be selective in what parts of the celebration your family will generate the most success with. Now isn’t the time to practice, in the heat of the moment, tolerating loud sounds at the dinner table, trying new foods or having to sit next to your sweet, great uncle with the strong smelling cologne.
Check out this month’s FREEBIE on role playing family visits and self advocacy phrases for this holiday season.
Setting boundaries is an act of self-love,
for you and your learner.
Navigating Routine Changes & Self Regulation
Kids don’t need to “toughen up” to handle holiday stress, we need to respectfully support their sensory and emotional needs.
I cannot tell you how much I heard this growing up, and if you’re a parent in this day and age, I’m certain you heard that as well.
We’ve been told to “be brave”, “be tough”, “get a thick skin”, but for our neurodivergent learners it’s not about bravery, toughness or a thick skin, but rather having access to tools that provide them with a sense of security, regulating anticipation and grounding strategies that promote regulation. We don’t want to create a generation of learners masking their dysregulation for our benefit.
Coffee Break Coaching Moment: Adjustments & Disruptions
Use visual schedules with pictures or icons for holiday days and events
I love a good visual schedule (or even a schedule for that matter) because it provides such a clear anchor for events. And for our neurodivergent population, this couldn’t be any more accurate.
Whether it’s a picture, words or phrases, this set up is a clear path for our learners to see the present, and what‘s ahead on big holiday days.
But sometimes things just don’t go as planned! Now what?
I hear you! That couldn’t be more true! Sometimes our learners struggle with adjustments or changes that pop up. It’s going against what we said would happen When change pops up, a switch of the visual, along with an explanation, can go a long way. This months freebie of the holiday visual schedule includes a “change” card and a “change” in plans script that would work very well in these moments.
Teach simple ways to use breathing to regulate
Providing your learner with clear choices of ways to regulate when feeling dysregulated is really empowering.
Think of it as having an extra $20 in your glove box incase you need that emergency tank of gas on a trip.
When you have the tools you need to succeed, even in an unexpected moment, it provides a greater sense of security.
So what exactly are we talking about here:
Hot cocoa breath
Smelling the flowers breath
Birthday candle breathing
Box breathing
Bubble breathing
Co-regulation breathing (doing the techniques with your learner)
Other ways to regulate:
Use your transition tool kit - everything from snacks to fidgets, cozy stuffed animals to noise cancelling headphones. Items your learner can regulate best with and knows how to use well.
Check out this month’s FREEBIE with a holiday visual schedule and a brief description of each breathing technique
Small steps toward calm
count just as much as the big ones.
Handling Holiday Travel & Social Gatherings
The days of social gatherings being long and drawn out is a thing of the past. Instead having shorter, planned visits with breaks work best for many neurodivergent families.
Practice social scripts ahead of family gatherings
Coffee Break Coaching Moment: Tips, Strategies & Scripts
Packing Tips
When you’re getting ready for a trip to visit with family, be sure to pack items for your learner that support regulation.
What could these items be?
Transition tool kit (regulating sensory items you take on the go)
Favorite snacks (if hungry on the way)
Comfort items (favorite book, stuffed animal, blanket, etc.)
An extra set of clothes (incase your learner finds their holiday outfit to be too uncomfortable and dysregulating) including undergarments and shoes.
Calming Strategies
When you’re in a new, unfamiliar place it is helpful to look around and identify where would be a space for your learner to use their sensory tools and re-regulation strategies without distractions.
Use tools such as:
Transition tool kit
Breathing techniques (as discussed above in Navigating Routine Changes)
A visual schedule (as discussed above in Navigating Routine Changes)
Social scripts (as discussed above in Managing Family Dynamics)
Check out this month’s FREEBIE chockfull of social scripts, visual schedules, self advocacy phrases and more to help your learner navigate and a brief description of each breathing technique
Reflecting & Planning Ahead for December
What’s your biggest holiday planning challenge? Is it dysregulation and sensory overload? Is it changes in routine? Is it navigating family gatherings?
If you’re shaking your head yes, then you’ve come to the right place.
If you’re catching this at the end of the month and the holidays weren’t so great, it’s ok!
Let’s take a moment a look back on what went well and also what didn’t go so well. Both are equally as important.
What went well shows us what is working.
What didn’t go so well shows us:
What isn’t working
Why it isn’t working
If you're noticing behavior going from a more calm or regulated state to becoming escalated quickly, it's important to think about the "why", here are a few:
- Are you leaving to go somewhere?
- Has there been a change in the schedule?
- Is everyone around the learner engaged in the hustle and bustle and the learner isn't as involved (maybe its holiday prep or cooking)?
When you take a second to ask those questions and see how your learner is responding it can allow you to pivot and brainstorm ways to provide them with the support and strategies to be successful.
Hope is not lost, rather hope is found, right here in these very moments.
This season,
give yourself permission
to pause & refill your cup.
If you’re wondering what to do and want to collaborate on sustainable behavior based strategies you can stir into your day, let’s chat over a coffee break together and refuel over a warm up with small sips of strategy to create a plan!
Make sure you’re following along on Instagram @coffeemugsandclipboards as we bring this quarter’s content all about the holiday season to life!
I hope your day goes as smoothly as you wish and as always,
I’m so glad you stopped by!
